It was weird day...I woke up cranky and not feeling well...heck I didn't even shower. I threw on clothes, put my hair up and went to work. I didn't talk to many people...only if I had to. Maybe it was the Monday blues? Best thing about Monday was our weekly young adult small group...I was always excited about small group...I even invited a friend to go...she reluctantly said yes...and only because I begged her. We were hungry on the way there and thought Chic-fil-A would hit the spot...we had just pulled into the parking lot...when my mom called:
Mom: Kendra, are you alone?
Me: No, why what's wrong?
Mom: Kendra, who are you with?
Me: My friend Stephanie...why mom what's wrong?
Mom: Your dad is gone.
Me: What do you mean he is gone, did you guys get into a fight? I'm confused...
Mom: No, I came home and I found him dead on the kitchen floor!
Me: (My mind racing...trying to catch my breathe...as I fell to the ground...it was like a movie with the world spinning around me...and I let out a loud shreek of terror)
My dad was gone...forever...never to return...his body remained...but he was gone.
The events of that day are a blur really...we rushed to the couple's house who held our small group and Sarah held me in her arms. My friends Doug and Morgan helped me get back to my house where I could pack my belongs and drive to my moms... they insisted on driving me...2 1/2 hrs there. We met some family half way. I continued to pinch my self over and over again...it must have been a joke. A very cruel one... I hadn't eaten all day so we thought we should stop and grab something when all I wanted to do was to just have my dad hold me in his arms. We stopped and got something to eat which I later threw up all over myself. My families house was only 20 minutes from where we were so they let me stop and take a shower before we got to my moms. Once we arrived I walked through the doors...and so many loved ones were there...but my dad wasn't. It wasn't a joke...he wasn't there...and he wasn't coming back...The days after were some of the hardest days of my life.
Even through that time of trial God was always there...protecting...and watching over us. I will never forget those ones who were there to help along the way... I will never forget Stephanie..in those moments she was there...I wasn't alone...she drove us to Tom and Sarah's. I'll never forget Sarah and her holding me in her arms comforting me. Doug and Morgan who filled my tank with gas and drove an hr to meet my family half way and an hr back to their home..and helped me pack my stuff. Lynn and Judy who picked me up half way, held me in their arms, let me throw up in their van and use their shower to clean myself up. Paul for being there with my mom until someone could get there. Mike for driving my mom and sisters to the burial site. All of the ones who showed up at my dad's viewing and funeral...over 1,000 came through the doors. My heart is full as I type this knowing all of the loving people and the kindness that pours from their heart...
Dad...you really were the funniest man that I knew, you and Nick would have had a ball! I'll never forget the corky way you would say my name...the way you would pick things up with your toes...your smelly black socks...your corny jokes (we call those dad jokes)...your smile...your laugh...the way you would sing bass...the way you would praise Jesus in the choir at church...how you encouraged...how you led...how you hugged...how you mowed the lawn in your daisy dukes...the way you ran...or how you touched your tongue to your nose...they times we would watch nascar or the times you would take me to the races...I'll never forget our trip to Puerto Rico and the morning we went out and watched the sun rise...spin the bottle with the ketchup bottle...ants in the microwave...peanut butter and miracle whip sandwich...how you made mush just perfectly (I can't get it right)...the time I was dancing in my room and you joined...when you saved me from getting hit by a car even though you fell in the process...our many talks about ministry...how you pushed me to make it another day...our talks about scripture and our beliefs...the dip in your chest and we would joke about eating cereal out of it...your love for milk with ice cubes...your love for mint chocolate chip ice cream (Nick too) or milkshakes...the way you would dress in your crazy colors...
The list really could go on... You are missed...my heart misses you...we miss you...the pain of grief really never ends but I stand here today blessed that I had a father who loved the Lord with reckless abandon...thank you dad for 26 years! You are loved and one day we will meet again...and I'll come running to you!
...and the dust returns to the ground it came from,
and the spirit returns to God who gave it...
