When Nick and I take a look back on our life we don't know how we got here. One thing that is for sure our life separately and together hasn't been dull or boring. Life hands you surprises and God has continually kept us on our toes.
We are thankful. We are blessed. We are grateful for his promises. We are thankful for provision.
It has been 7 months since we made the trip across the country to become Cali people. We are finally starting to feel a little more settled. When the Lord placed us at Gateway we weren't sure what kind of relationships we were going to establish with His people. It's insane to me that in just 7 months we already feel like a part of the family. That's God though. We knows how to fuse lives together when needed and in the perfect timing. I must warn you before you read any further this post will probably come off as a sappy wife post. I am okay with this but more importantly I want the true message of this post to be received.
The Lord has this way of working that makes people look back on their life and question how. This is me and my life. After college I set out to take on the world...the ministry world. I was lost, alone and not sure what the Lord was doing with me. I learned a lot, I faced heartache, trials and challenges. I also faced happiness and exciting times of growing. For those of you who truly know me it may have seemed like I couldn't make up my mind, maybe you thought I was like a leaf in the wind being blown one direction only to change directions again. In those moments I did not know what God was doing...all I knew was to be faithful. Because of his leading I have been able to do so many things such as be a single women in ministry, minister to girls who needed guidance in their life and be an advocate to so many beautiful children. I have also been able to live on the East Coast and now the West. The Lord has given me so many opportunities for me to fuse my life with others. I am the youngest in my family, I am a free spirit and I have had to force myself to settle down.
There was a time in my life when I wanted to so desperately get married... once my dad passed away I then had a secret fear of marriage. NO WAY was I going to be vulnerable like people are in marriage just for my husband to pass away. It took a while for my head to catch up to my heart when Nick came in to my life in the capacity that he did. I truly had to trust that God knew what he was doing. I pushed through my fears and my insecurities. I wasn't sure how God was going to bring two ministry minded people together the way that he promised he would...and the only answer I have is God. I love my husband more now than I ever have.
Sometimes I feel that people get marriage twisted. Marriage isn't for us...marriage is for God. Marriage is for our spouse. We are not here for someone to make us happy. Ladies...our husbands are the head of our house and we are to be submissive. People misinterpret this so much...it doesn't mean to bark when our husbands say bark...or sit when they say sit. Ultimately though...they are responsible for decisions. Of course if you both are walking the footsteps of Christ those decisions will not be made without the consultation of the wife. I am ready for men to be men and women to women. Knowing our roles in life leads to freedom.
I am thankful for the choice that I made to marry Nick. I am grateful that I didn't stay in the bondage of my fears. My heart is so full because Nick is my husband and each and every day I get to go home to the man who loves me most. We don't fully know how God is going to fuse our calls to ministry but what I do know is that we will both be obedient to the call. We are being used where we are. No our marriage isn't perfect, there are days where we fight, we cry and we hurt each other. At the same time we allow each other to talk, to listen and to share frustrations. I wouldn't want life any other way and I couldn't imagine doing life without him. It's amazing to me that there was a time where we were both broken people. Broken from the past but God was to faithful to pick up the pieces and fuse them together. I wouldn't have it any other way.
